M2A: Reading 2As 6 (0) Reading Refills 1 (1)

Reading Refills Reflect on Right Royal Rogering by Rampant 2As

Reading 2As 6 (0) Reading Refills 1 (1)
Saturday 5 November 2005

With three wins and two draws, the 2As were third in the league at the start of the day, no thanks to our impressive goal difference of +13. With the same number of points as the Refills, this already tense affair was tightened further.

In employment news this week, Dave missing link Copp (see insert) secured his first full-time employment since graduating from the glorious University of East Anglia. Dave, under the moniker, Ivor Biggin, has successfully beaten off several strong candidates to take the lead role in a new Carry On film. To be filmed in a secluded Wiltshire mansion, Carry On Shooting, will be set around a pheasant shoot at a naturists holiday camp. Commenting on landing the role Dave said, I have a big part. I am sure that his co-actress, Samantha Janus is also hoping he has a big part! 

In news from our sponsors this week: As a sign of Irelands growing importance to the future of Allegis Group in Europe, the company is proud to announce the re-opening of its Dublin office this month. The company has been operating in Ireland since 2001, however the office has been run remotely from Manchester since February 2003 in which time we have seen a huge increase in business with key clients in the Telecoms, IT and Finance sectors. Currently the company has approximately 70 contractors on assignment for its Irish operation, mainly in Dublin but also in locations such as Limerick and Belfast.

Game Day:
As the day dawned Sonning Lane was opened up for the early 8am meet time. The pitch was given a full Olympic regulation 3mm of water, and all six water canons functioned properly. A goal was removed from the centre of the pitch whilst Tom I charged the Loughborough Ladies £15 a game Scott, the 2As umpire, made a through inspection of the netting and ensured all four corner flags were correctly placed.

In squad news this week, Dom Soon to be married with 2.4 children Tallent was recalled to the 2As to reinforce the front line which has been struggling to score enough goals. Ed 16 and legalDavidson, who was holding out for a 2s squad place was eventually kind enough to respond to the 2As squad email to say he was available and clearly had something to prove today.

Johnny lost the toss for the first time this season, with a mid-air heads call.

The starting line-up was as follows:

Jez
Subs: Ed Davidson, Dave Copp and Dominic Tallentless, Jeremy Elliot

First Half:
Sloppy midfield possession from the 2As saw Pete Miller dislodge Johnny and sprint away for a simple tap in. 1-0 Refills.

Second Half:
All the old Refill fatties had to take a rest, the 2As plan had kicked in. Three goals in seven minutes from the mighty 2As (Dave, Dunc and Sheldon) left the Refills wilting. A further three goals (Rick, Huw and Ed) destroyed and already defeated Refills. They had no answer to us. And Pete Miller got a green card for his troubles
Full Time:
So, a well deserved victory from the boys, good team work, great second half, shocking first half, but all very positive for next week. A nice hot shower followed. And a wonderful full English Breakfast rounded off a satisfying Saturday morning.

I think that makes us third in the league, with Refills fourth.

Club Dinner News:
Preparation for the Club Dinner is now underway, with most of the £25 cheques in. There is likely to be a strong representation in the 2As boat race team, where only the best looking will make the cut to the final five. The 2s dont stand a chance as our biggest threat is likely to be from the 3s. Rezmund is keeping his line up close to his (extremely hairy) chest, but expect the usual 2s dirty tricks campaign and the 3s bringing up the rear.

Muppet text messaging error of the week: Johnny still yet to get to grips with this new fandangled technology enters the score so the Refills win 6-1.
Best looking player of the week: Rob Wife beater Foster
Tactical Substitution of the Game: Refills bring on Huggy at Centre Midfield… another three goals crash in for the 2As.
Shortest player of the week: Dave Homeboy Harding
Player most showing signs of Puberty of the Week: Chris in charge of the balls Cattamole
Oldest player of the week: Andy We didnt do that in my day Steeler
Goals Summary: Dave Copp, Dunc, Sheldon, Rick, Huw and Ed Davidson
Weight ratio of 2As to Refills captain: 1.8 to 1
Management of the week: Mr and Mrs Elliot
Match Inspiration of the week: Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown
Toms umpiring moment of the week: Can we change the ball, I cant see the white one in the sun? NO, came a resounding reply from the players.
Next game: Saturday 11 November 2005, Away at Southgate 3s @ 4.30pm