Bandits @ Sonning

And so the might Bandits roll on, having another legendary weekend and picking up another trophy in the process. Yes the Bandits are Sonning Festival Mixed champions 2006.

The Bandits nearly failed in a key part of the preparation of elite touring athletes when they were nearly unable to transport their takeaway back to base. Everyone know that tours are arduous events and preparation is key. As Posh arrived last on Friday her was instructed to venture forth and not return until he had acquired enough chips from the chippie to keep us all in peak condition. For some reason Popey went with him, soon to wish she hadn’t as he proceeded to navigate the byways of Woodley as though in a F1 grand prix. Having easily won the prize for seeing who can create the biggest queue in a fish and chip shop as the might Bandits’ order went on and on, winning a free bottle of lemonade in the process, our two nutritional experts prepared to return to base only to find that Hans refused to start.

After feasting well the Bandits hit the party in some style. Purple nasty was consumed and Vodka shots were partaken and some serious whiplash injuries were gained head banging to the fantastic music on the dance floor.

Saturday dawned bright and far too early. However the largest bacon, egg and sausage stuffed baguettes with a side of Dairy Milk ever soon revived spirits and was soon to be crowned the breakfast of champions The Bandits somehow made it to their 9.30am game on time and proceeded to score a goal, fail to score any others but failed also to concede. Repeat for the rest of the day bar one game that we drew and you pretty much have the story of Day 1.

Confidence was very high.

Posh even scored all the goals as he revved into sharp shooter mode. Either he was a) on fire and the best centre forward on view that day b) refusing to pass to anyone else ANYWHERE IN THE REMOTE VICINITY OF THE D!!!!!!!!

Saturday night was costume night and this year’s theme was England v Germany. The guys went as hooligans, we think, it might just have been their usual Saturday night out on the town outfit. Apart from Duncan who went as David Hasslehoff. The girls went as FIFA 2006 referees complete with colour coded cards and England cowboy hats:

Red: Minger
Yellow: Alright but will regret it in the daylight
Green: Hi Gorgeous
Blue: My tent now studmuffin

There was another great band on for the evening and the music was fantastic. You couldn’t have prised us off that dance floor with a crow bar. The Bandits were also pleased to be bolstered by some half time subs as Amy, Rob and Tim made it out. The Bandits also managed to make it over to the club in full Bandits formation to wish former Bandit Rod Harling a fond farewell on his depature to Scotland.

Overall rating for the evening’s talent was probably a yellow but that didn’t stop Becky and Kate “Who?” Mansur having a go, until good tase prevailed and they managed to find their way back to Bandits HQ. Mansur wasn’t wearing her own clothes but that’s a minor point.

Having been so successful the day before we were rewarded with a lie in. A few of us weren’t feeling that great and so we all suspected Salmonella from the 1Kg bar of Dairy Milk consumed the day before. Can’t think what else it might have been…. We now faced two games in order to progress to the semi-finals. We negotiated the first thanks to, yes you’ve guessed it a single goal, and a fine save from Barry in goal without even moving from his deckchair. In the second pool game of the day Popey unleashed her terminator side and decided to stop loitering on the left week and lashed in a goal to take us through to the semi-final. With the England game just around the corner the semi-final was brought forward but there was just time for a little PTI training from Tim and Laz to get us in the mood. Tim’s fitness leotard is sure to be a sure fire hit when it hits stores this autumn. If last year’s must have pro athlete accessory was a Canterbury Armour Fit base layer then this season’s look is almost certainly going to see the addition of the thong support leotard to any self respecting hockey player’s wardrobe. It makes press ups a breeze.

Posh not really enjoying Popey threatening to steal his goal scoring crown lashed in another screamer in the semi and Rob Brown seemed undecided about what to do in front of goal but eventually scored with a cheeky little flick. 7 teams down and one team left to go. Unfortunately they were quite good so the Bandits went of and had a word with themselves and put on some serious game face to face West Campstead in the final. It was a surprisingly good game for grass hockey with both teams playing some good fast counter attacking stuff but West Campstead couldn’t succeed where others had failed and find a way past the mighty Dukes, Sumo and Dom at the back. After the attack had pussy footed around for a while it was left to Popey to convert a short corner on the stroke of half time and score the goal that ultimately settled the game. Even the bizarre sight of Laz appearing at centre forward for the last 5 minutes, effectively reducing the Bandits to 10 men, failed to prevent them marching on to yet another summer title.

The final tour of the season is Riverside 12th/13th August. This will be Kate “Who” Mansur’s last before leaving the club for Spain. No doubt the Bandits will find a way of giving her a fine send off…..