M2A: Reading 3 Richmond 2

Booyakashah

Reading 2As 3 : Richmond 2s 2

2-0 down at half time, and we are thinking, not another week and not another loss please.

We each necked a pint of confidence, with our International Urban Youth Development player, Pete ‘rough it up’ Roseff necking two pints for good measure. Note these pints were necked responsibly. Pete led the charge as we went on the rampage, Richmond didn’t know what hit them, and Johnny ‘Do It Yourself’ Downer popped up at the back post to slot the first goal in reply after five mins.

We kept at the Richmond defence, who looked wobbly. Duncan ‘chest hair’ Brown held the middle of the park well spreading play left and right. With time running out and about our eighteenth shorty, David ‘Does it from the back’ Copp managed to get a deflection off his power drag flick, bringing it to 2-2. There was about four mins on the clock left.

Captain Downer came back on after recovering from a whiplash incident. Richmond got a short corner, which they fluffed thank goodness. The play came rapidly back on to the oppo, with Johnny picking the ball up at the top of their D…

[Due to potential health impacts the following description of the greatest reverse stick goal in 2As history has been deleted].

3-2.

And ten seconds later the final whistle blew.

Richmond were utterly bewildered. Reading were awesome in that second half. Just absolutely awesome… Winners (with a big ‘W’).

Match Stats Facts:

Player most likely to spot lesbian pants: Johnny ‘did you see that’ Downer

Most urban youth wear: Alex ‘fluffy collar’ Land

Shortest player: Drew ‘is he a jockey’ Vermeulen

Least goals scored by a forward: Alex ‘lift me up before you go go’ Land

Most aggressive tackling: Tim ‘check yo bad self’ Atkins.

Best boy band haircut of the week: Alex ‘heavenly highlights’ Land

Most embarrassing relative in support: Daddy Roseff

Least likely to shower post match: Alex ‘lather me up’ Land

2As Captain to Richmond Captain weight ratio: 1.45: 1

Amount of banter Johnny is going to suffer due to that article in Push: A significant quantity.

And a reminder of your Men’s captains…

1s: Rhys ‘K-reg 1.7L diesel Citroen ZX firing on three cylinders’ Joyce

2s: Rohit ‘Black Range Rover Sport with blacked out windows and spinners’ Kapoor

2As: Johnny ‘Mitsubishi Evo IX with a sub as big as your house in the boot’ Downer

Refills: Nick ‘big fat corporate Merc’ Hooper

3s: Rezmund ‘Batmobile’ Ansary

4s: Mark ‘pick-up truck’ Lazarri

Rascals: Paul ‘FAB1’ Quartly

Rovers: Ronan ‘BMW 740i’ Daffey

Retros: Angus ‘Ford Fiesta L with a little bit of rust’ Purcell

Rustlers: Nick ‘Toyota Celica’ Barton

Vets: David ‘Rover 75 in sea green’ Van Beesten