M2A: Hampstead and Westminster Zak Hond 0 Reading 9

No needto write a match report this week, as the Hampstead guys have done it?for me!!??Shambles!?Hampstead and Westminster Zak Hond 0 - 9 (nine) Reading Men’s 2As?Saturday, November 26, 2005??Last weekend was bad ? we didn?t play until 545pm ? we lost, England got?beaten by the Kiwis at Union, the Aussies at league, drew with Pakistan at?cricket and Everton got thrashed 4-0 by West Brom??So I had high expectations this weekend ? it nearly went to plan - England?beat Samoa, Ricky Hatton won the world title, Everton beat Newcastle ? BUT?the Zaks lost again, and not just lost ? we were walloped, soundly beaten,?given a good spanking, taken roughly from behind ? you name it, Reading did?it to us.??The team has been running since ?98 ? and we have never looked such an?embarrassing outfit.??A few things didn?t go for us to begin with ? firstly we had a few last?minute drop outs that didn?t help ? which really did let down the eleven?people that could be bothered to get up, and most of us were suffering with?hangovers or colds.??We also didn?t have a goalkeeper ? we knew this early in the week and having?played some storming games on tour ? when drunk I hasten to add ? I thought?I would give it a go- that?s when my Saturday took a turn for the worse.??5 minutes in 1-0? they break down our left and the first shot goes straight?under me for the first goal.??6 minutes in ? I save a flicked attempt ? the ball goes behind me ? I make a?save at the attacker?s feet ? the grill imbeds itself into my face as the?helmet is too small ? and it results in a gash that later on requires?stitches in my chin.??10 minutes - 2-0 ? Chippa aims to clear the ball, stumbles over it ? I run?to assist but their forward flicks it over my head.??15 minutes ? 3-0? Their left winger finds himself in acres of space ? he?aims a soft shot at my near post ? I have it covered ? easy, it goes?straight through my legs and makes me look a Muppet. This keeping lark is?not easy when you are sober.??25 minutes ? save my first short corner aimed at my head ? Jonny misses our?first opportunity up front. My shins are starting to hurt.??30 minutes ? Simon loses the ball at the top of the D ? they switch it?quickly to their right winger who surprisingly is standing on his own to?deflect it into the top corner.??4-0 at half time ? Woody tried to inspire us ? ?make sure we win this half??? ?if we win this half 5-0 we will win.???Unfortunately they won the half 5-0 nil resulting in a 9-0 thrashing.??I can?t remember all the goals ? I know it looked like they had fifteen?players ? they must have had about 20 shots ? there were a few occasions?when they could have tackled each other to be the first one to have a shot.?A couple were flicked over me as I rushed out ?others were dispatched with?the ease of a striker whom had no one around him, plenty of time and no?stress as the game was already won.??Nat helped them out even more by tripping up one of their players and?getting a yellow ? his second of the season.??We could have had a consolation goal ? but they had a keeper who had done?the job before.??Apparently I played well ? but losing 9-0 and having a barrage of shots was?not much fun ? my chin still hurts, and my shins were ripped apart as I had?the pads on wrong somehow.??Reading were good ? very good in fact ? even with a keeper we would have?been beaten soundly. Hopefully next week we have a full team, a bit more?drive ? and ultimately a keeper.??By Rob (Hampstead Keeper)