Sandy's Version of the Ladies 4s Vs GX

.the team arrived in positive frame of mind high hopes but few in number....no subs!!!!we were only slightly disconcerted when we noticed the 2 umpires were leading the warm up for GX. As the match was about to start both umpires warmly hugged and embraced the GX team and wished them luck....within a few short minutes the opposition scored a goal having kicked the ball almost the length of the pitch with passing ability that would have saved Roy Hodgson his job...apparently the umpires were unsighted and didn't manage to spot the "feet " and the goal stood.So one nil down and feeling a little up against it....Sandy tried to calm everyone "Don't worry....they can't be expected to see everything...I'm just glad they're here...its a thankless job and I wouldn't like to do it!" "It'll even itself out eventually...no sense in complaining etc" We were eventually awarded a rare free hit which GX kindly took for us...they threw Maria to the floor and then went on to score a second goal. It was obviously a shock when both umpires joined in with/ infact led the celebrations ....old guy umpire broke into spontaneous applause and slid at least 25 yards on his knees towards the GX bench and supporters...the other umpire was a little more subtle and did a slightly awkward moon dance along the halfway line. GX were allowed to restart the match following their goal celebrations and the game continued Reading eventually secured a free hit just outside the oppositions circle -finally this was our chance..Maria put the ball down on the edge of the circle Sandy shouted a reminder "Remember it's got to go 5 yards"...at this point the moonwalking umpire shouted "No ....no it doesnt" Sandy looked across at the umpire and smiled...but repeated "Maria it's got to go 5"....the umpire once again assured her that it was not the case.....Maria who was clearly baffled and confused belted the ball straight into the circle from about 3 inches like a proper muppet....at which point the umpire blew her whistle and awarded a free hit to GX because "The ball has to travel 5 yards!"As you can imagine the Reading players were incensed...but Sandy said very little...just tried to calm everyone down...as is her way...as and encouraged the team to pick the ball up for the GX team to take their hit. Soon after this Reading had a shot on goal which was saved superbly by the GX defender who skillfully stopped the ball on the goal line with her left foot....clearly a penalty stroke! ...the umpire very reluctantly awarded a short corner...Someone shouted out in protest and Sandy who was once again trying to calm the situation was sent off...clearly a case of mistaken identity.....I think the real offender was either Tracey or Mary....as the game reached its climax Reading managed to convert one of their many many shots away and the game ended 2-1."Oh well it's only a game" encouraged Sandy. ..."We'll just gave to do better next time"...at this point Sandy had a whip round to buy the umpires a well deserved drink.....Not sure I got every little bit....but this is pretty much how I remember it. Sandy x